Lee Vidor, Thuperstar.
I'm a Thuperstar!
Lee Vidor Trances Heavenly
I was just sitting quietly at home reading a book on William Shakespeare and typing out some sexy novels about artists and bohemians on my computer, and the whole media world burst in and grabbed me by the wings and made me a Global Thuperstar!
What about my exciting needlework? I'll never have time for that now.
And suddenly I'm an evil genius too!
Last week I was a lovely gentle angel, and now I'm suddenly an Evil Hoaxer who is fooling the whole world!
I'm expecting Batman to burst through my door any moment and say something manly and beat me up and capture me.
I'll be so mad if he does.
If he damages my beautiful wings I'm suing.
I'll be driving the batmobile and living in his cave-thingy if he tries that. I'm not kidding.
And I never even did anything!
Not once did I get out of a car and be photographed with no underwear on.
Not once did I get arrested for being a little drunk Hollywood brat.
What's the world coming to when you can be a superstar without even doing any of that?
It's not my fault that Shakespeare sent me a message!
I get messages from people all the time. Suddenly it's like a big deal.
I only politely opened his message and now the New York Times is calling me something unmentionable outside the bordellos of Bangkok. Or so I've heard.
I thought I did something that's pretty hard to do..
Something magical and exciting that astounded everyone in the world..
Now they're treating me like a little Hollywood bimbo actress who can do nothing except wiggle her tail.
Life isn't easy when you're a Global Thuperstar.
My wings are drooping with it all.
If I get another message from William Shakespeare I'm not even going to open it.